Ike, you are a jerk. I would like to break all of your pencils and erase all "appointments" from your calendar. Removing the wheels from your chair would likely bring smiles to my face for years to come. Yelling seems to be a favorite of yours, so I would like to yell at you every time we communicate: "STOP BEING SUCH A JERK! WHY AM I YELLING? BECAUSE YOU YELL...I THOUGHT YOU HAD A HEARING PROBLEM."
Ike, you need to get a life. Get over the fact that your significant other brings home the bacon. If you are as miserable as you seem, quit your job. Find something to do that does not include interaction with the living. Maybe you could learn to embalm people. Just a suggestion.
If you do not clean up your act, I will no longer force a smile and witty conversation. Quit being yourself. Be someone people want to be around.