I am finished. Finished being walked over. Finished being talked to as though I am an idiot. Finished being the one making all the sacrifices. Finished worrying what others think. Finished trying to make everyone else happy. Finished being nice to people who have hurt me…used me.
For the past 10 years I have put on a happy face in order to make the people around me comfortable. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have been happy during the last 10 years. What I am referring to is the man who left his family and the woman who lured him away.
These two people changed the course of my life. They changed the course of my son’s life. This was done without a second thought. Their only concern was getting what they wanted and living their lives without the responsibility of a 3 year old.
There have been positives to come from the situation. I have learned more about myself, and my son’s magnificent personality developed. I have learned to stand on my own and my son has learned how devastating divorce can be. I am certainly not sad about those alterations in our lives, but the time has come for another change. I remember early into our divorce, my ex-husband’s mom told me I just needed to get over it (divorce). I was stunned. This from the woman who said she would shoot the temptress if she ever dared to step foot in their home. I was so concerned about pleasing my former mother-in-law that I compromised my own feelings. I smiled at the family wrecker when I saw her…hell, I even hugged her. I spoke to her with a smile on my face. I sat with her at my son’s activities. My stomach was turning inside out the entire time, but I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to “just get over it”. I have kept my mouth shut with my ex. I have tried to keep things light with him even as he began to open up about the issues in this, his third, marriage. He plays the martyr so well. I always end up feeling sorry for him. I mean, he is the father of my child.
Well, that’s all changing. He has spoken to me as if I were a child for the last time. She has lied to him about things she has said to and done in front of my child for the last time. I will not be treated this way. I will not tolerate it any longer. I am worth too much. I am too aware of their deceit. I am finally ready to move on. I will no longer hide my emotions, acknowledge the whore, or change everything to accommodate the man who chose to be the 6th husband instead of a father.
I am finished.